Often times we focus so much on finding the balance between work, home and kids we tend to leave out finding the balance with our spouse. Here you’ll find 5 incredible tips on making time for your spouse that will work even for the most busiest couples with hectic schedules.
Listening to Your Spouse.
The first tip is one of the most important tips I can give to any married couple. Pause yourself for a few minutes and just listen to your spouse. Communication is key in a marriage and most of the time we’re demanding the attention instead of giving the attention. I know it’s extremely difficult to make it a point in your crazy day to stop and call your husband but it’s important to stay connected. You don’t have to spend hours conversing with one another, just a few minutes to hear what they have going on.
Here’s a few ways to find time to fit into your busy crazy day to stop and listen to your husband.
- Use your commute to call your husband. After dropping the kids off on your way to work take a few minutes and call your husband to ask how he’s doing.
- If your a stay at home mom with little kids and your commute is not such a quiet ride then maybe nap time is a perfect time for you to give 3-5 minutes to your spouse just to listen.
- If your schedules just don’t align and your both too busy during the day for either of you to talk then you need to plan on bedtime being a few minutes earlier so you can get some pillow talk in.
It’s important to make it a point to listen to your spouse as often as you can. It makes them feel cared for and wanted emotionally. The more you put in the effort to communicate and listen the more your spouse will learn to communicate and listen to you as well.
Think of your Spouse First
Being a wife and mother is a challenging role to play. We naturally make the selfless decision to keep our family happy and some of us often complain about our husband not doing enough for us emotionally or romantically. I truly believe in the saying “ the woman makes the man”. A man will love you as hard as you love them and a man will bicker as much as you will take. Sometimes we have to show and treat our spouse the way we expect to be treated.
It shouldn’t just be the mans responsibility to do things or plan things out of the ordinary to treat his wife. He will truly appreciate his wife taking the time to do something as little as getting him his favorite treat for no reason. Or getting him tickets to a sport event just because. The same feeling we women get when we receive flower for no reason or a gift out of the blue is the same feeling a man gets but most men mask it with their tough exterior. This will fuel him to want to do the same in return.
You always have to find a way to make time for your spouse. I know easier said than done but it has to be done. My husband and I worked opposite schedules for many years from when our youngest daughter was born till she was about 7 years old. I worked a part time job during the mornings so as he’s getting home from work I’m leaving for work and it was his turn to take care of the kids and house for the next four hours. When I got home from work he would go straight to sleep until it was time for him to get up for work. Not to mention his only day off was Monday. Things were a bit crazy for us but we managed to get through it. We literally saw each for moments a day so we had to make it a point to make time for one another. Every Monday night was our date night after dinner and the kids were ready for bed it was our time to be together. Some nights we would call a babysitter and go out to the movies or sometimes dinner. Then many night we just sat on the couch talking and connecting.
I know it’s not possible to give your undivided attention to your husband every day but you have to make it a priority to have at least one day out of the week of one on one time.
Do it Together
There’s plenty to be done and there’s no reason it can’t be done together. Trust me it took me some time to accept and adjust to having my husband help me do things because I felt he did everything the wrong way it would turn into arguments. However I had to learn to let go of control. For instant cooking dinner my husband is not a kitchen man he’s a great cook on the grill but not on the stove. So any time it’s his night to cook we’re having pizza or take out. But when he’s home we try to do it together just to get some bonding time. Even though I felt like he was slowing me down because I had to teach how to do everything then I realized I’m wasting my time getting annoyed and frustrated when I could be soaking in that time we had to together to bond a little. So I had to let loose a little and let it be.
Think of some ways you and your husband can do things around the house like fold laundry, cook dinner or yard work that can count as bonding time.
I know it’s not always in the budget for everyone or even possible to find a sitter but if your able to make it happen I truly recommend weekend getaways. It doesn’t have to be a crazy destination or a trip far away it can be a staycation to somewhere in the area. I know when my kids were little I would never want to go far just in case something happened we could rush home. The furthest we would go was about two and half hours away. Find a nice hotel or resort within your radius and just chill together. My favorite getaways are the ones when we don’t leave the hotel room. We’ll lay in bed order room service, catch up on some TV shows maybe watch a movie take naps and have some one on one time. It’s so relaxing and just one night away of sitting in a hotel room relaxing is so rejuvenating I feel so recharged after a trip like that. My husband and I try to plan at least 3 getaways for us through out the year usually Valentines Day, one of our birthdays and during the fall right after school starts but right before the holidays.